In the whirlwind that is early motherhood, I often remember something my mom always said, “God made a mistake when He only gave mothers 2 arms!” She believed we needed three, one to hold our baby and the other two to manage everything else. It seemed sensible when I was struggling to multitask with a baby and my laptop. However, as my children grew, I realized that my true challenge had nothing to do with the number of arms I had, but rather with how I managed my time and priorities.
The Chaos of the Early Years
When my kids were 1 and 3 years old, my life revolved around my never-ending To-Do list. From meal prep to laundry, responding to emails, and scheduling appointments, my days blurred into a continuous loop of chores. Time felt scarce and slippery. I often daydreamed about having that extra arm, and in my fantasies, it allowed me to manage it all without feel exhausted by the end of the day.
However, over time it became apparent to me that the number of arms I had wouldn’t solve my problems. My relentless pursuit of checking things off my To-Do list cost me more than just time. It left me
- burned out
- exhausted
- and emotionnally depleted.
Somewhere along the line, I allowed the mundane to overshadow my goals and dreams. It was clear that change was necessary.
Revisiting Dreams: Setting Goals for Personal and Professional Growth
Reconnecting with myself was the first step. I needed to find my direction again. I did it by defining my personal goals and aspirations for this stage of life. What did I want for myself, my family, professionally?
Getting answers, meant getting okay with being uncomfortable with myself. Accepting my failures and imperfections were a part of the process – and as a recovering perfectionist, it was challenging. Perfectionism held me back, kept me from taking action because things weren’t perfect or it wasn’t the perfect time to do it, or I hadn’t perfected the skill yet. I needed to aim for progress over perfection.
There were no sudden epiphanies for me, but rather it became about seizing the opportunities as they arose. My old career path wasn’t working for me anymore, so I needed to try something else for a bit, and when an opportunity came up, I said yes and did it. An invitation to a workshop or networking event? I said yes, because I needed to up my skills.
A Strategic Approach to Prioritizing What Matters
Upping my skills taught me to stop using the traditional to-do list and I switched to a 4 bucket format – Must, Want, Delegate, Never. This new system helped me organize tasks by necessity and enjoyment level, so I could prioritize things better than before.
- The Must Bucket is for tasks that only you can do. No other human on the planet can get it done. For me, this would include things like client interactions, recording videos, or doing my podcast.
- The Want Bucket is for tasks you really enjoy or want to do. For me, this bucket included, family time, volunteer work, finalizing marketing plans, etc.
- The Delegate Buck is for things that can be outsourced or someone else could handle. This is where I put a lot of household chores since the other members of my family or a service can get it done. This is also where I put research, web design, scheduling appointments, etc.
- The “Never” bucket can be a bit harder, but it’s where tasks go that have nothing to do with your goals and often waste a lot of time. For me, anything that I can automate went here – once it’s set up, I’ll never do it again.
Now, to prioritize. The Must Bucket is full of high priority tasks and need to get done first. The Want Buck and the Delegate Buck take turns at the second tier, and the Never Bucket should be dead last or better yet, dropped completely from the list.
Efficiency Through Practical Time Management Strategies
Reconnecting with myself gave me new dreams. My new dreams gave me a direction to head in. That direction helped me reorganize and prioritize my efforts. Now it’s time for some strategy. I want to be efficient when I work, play, and rest.
There are a lot of different time management methods and apps, but the ones that work best are the ones you use consistently. These are what work for me:
- Time Blocks. My calendar has:
- Work Blocks – 60-90 minutes
- During this block, I work on 1-3 tasks or projects,
- Break Block – 10-20 min
- I use this time to walk around, drink water, walk outside, have a snack, or anything not at my computer;
- Personal Time – 30-60 min
- This is ME time to read a book, take a nap, get a massage, whatever it is that helps me rest and take a mental break.
- Work Blocks – 60-90 minutes
- Grouping Similar Tasks:
- I will use a Work Block to work on writing, or editing a video or podcast, or for admin work, like sending emails, doing calls, or delegating tasks for the week, etc. By doing similar tasks (whether for work or home) at the same time, it reduces setup time which allows me to knock things out faster.
- Automate, Delegate, Outsource:
- As a solopreneur, leveraging external help is crucial. I use virtual assistants, cleaning services, and other vendors to help me get stuff done. Of course there have been times where I have HAD to do everything, but I’ve always known it’s not an efficient use of my time. I automate bill paying, savings, retirement, and investing. I outsource or delegate scheduling, research, groceries, cleaning, yardwork, etc. I do projects I enjoy and I hire professionals for the rest.
- Family Calendar:
- I live and breathe by my calendar. A comprehensive family calendar keeps everyone informed about schedules, appointments, commitments, and it crucial for communication and coordination. There is also a white board in my kitchen where anyone can add a note or post whatever they want us all to see.
- Plan for interruptions and downtime:
- Life happens, which means you will get interrupted, so plan for it, especially if you have kids. Example, I work from home and my kids do their homework around the same time every day. Since I already know I’m likely to be interrupted during that time, I use that time to do simple tasks.
- Downtime is mental break time. This is not the time to do personal errands or take care of the house, but this is the “I-don’t-wanna-burn-out” time, where I enjoy moving my body, resting my eyes, drinking water or whatever I need to give my brain a break. When my kids were little, these were short, 5-minute or so, because that’s all I could get. Now, my kids are in school and I take 15- 30 minute breaks to decompress, meditate, and just give my brain peace.
Embracing the Working Parent Journey
Being a working parent is hard. You have a lot to manage, but remember, you were never meant to handle it all by yourself. Raising a child takes a village. It’s important to build a supportive network of friends, family, and others in your community. This support can significantly lighten your daily load. When you combine this support with effective time management strategies, you’ll find more time in your day. You might not get things done like you used to, but that’s because you’ve grown. You’re not the same person you were; you’re also a parent now. With greater demands on your time, it’s important to celebrate every bit of progress. Be proud of your achievements, learn from the challenges, and savor the journey. With everything you have and will overcome, you grow stronger. I see you, mama –
braver and more confident than you realize and you’re doing an incredible job.
