I grew up dancing, and I think dancing is a great way to understand how to find your flow with business ambitions and parenting. A dance is just a few minutes, but it becomes magical when the movement of the dancer and the music coalesce into a beautiful, shared moment with the audience. But to get to that moment requires consistent work and effort. In business, that magical moment could be your first “ah-ha” realization, your business idea turning into reality with your first client or crossing the threshold into consistently gaining clients. In parenting, it can look like when your baby reaches a milestone, when your child masters a skill they’ve been struggling with, or when your teenager wants to talk instead of ignoring you.
So, instead of trying to achieve goals that will make us be everything, everywhere, all at once, why not choose goals for our business and our family that bring us more of those magic moments?
Reframing Success
Every New Year, we’re told to set goals to transform ourselves into a “better” and more “perfect” version. We must be skinnier, prettier, stronger, wealthier, more accomplished, and more knowledgeable. And supposedly, we only succeed when we’ve done all the things and changed ourselves entirely.
Let’s challenge that idea by just tossing it out.
What if success was about creating more magic moments? To do that, we first need to identify our Musts (non-negotiable, like family dinners, school drop-offs, workout time, weekly staff meeting, quarterly business review, etc.) and our Flexibles (things you want to do, but can compromise on).
When we get clear on these, we realize trying to transform into some “perfect being” is pointless. It doesn’t lead to magic moments – it leads to disappointment, frustration, and burnout. Clarity on our Musts and Flexibles helps us avoid overcommitment and burnout much more easily.
The One-Goal-per-Sphere Rule
It’s so tempting to make a long list of things we’re “supposed” to do. But multi-tasking ourselves into oblivion rarely creates anything amazing. Instead, use your Musts and Flexibles as a guide, create one impactful goal for business and one for family.
For work, perhaps you want a promotion by the end of the year. Your goal could be to meet with your supervisor, create a plan, and implement it to achieve that promotion. For business, maybe you want to roll-out a new program, so your goal becomes building awareness ahead of its launch. For your family, you want to spend more uninterrupted quality time together, so you plan family potlucks, movie nights, or trips.
Don’t Schedule Your Time, Schedule Your Energy
When are you normally the most energetic or productive? When does your brain switch on? Conversely, when do you find yourself reaching for caffeine or needing a break? What energizes you and what drains you?
Take me for example, I am not a morning person. My brain doesn’t function fully until 10:00 a.m., and my most productive hours are between 12:00-4:00 p.m. I start my day with simple tasks like emails or reviewing action items because they require less energy and brain power. During my high-energy hours, I tackle strategic work like writing articles, shooting videos, or planning business initiatives. I end my day with lighter tasks that prepare me for the next day before switching gears into family mode.
Understanding how you naturally operate and scheduling tasks based on your energy levels can significantly improve your productivity – without burning out.
How Tiny Changes Create Big Results
Dream big, but instead of sweeping transformational initiatives, aim for smaller, consistent, and manageable ones. Here’s what I mean:
At a Tony Robbins event, I learned about the concept of consistent improvement and how your next level is not some huge change to the path you’re on, but a microscopic change – a “2 millimeter shift”. It’s consistently working towards that little shift that ends up having a huge impact. Similarly, aiming to be just 1% better each day can compound into transformational growth! By the end of the year, you are not 100% improved but you’ve grown by 365%!
In my life, this looks something like adding reading for 15 minutes to my day on a topic that improves my parenting, relationships, or business. Eventually, I’ve added enough minutes get to 30 min to 60 min a day, and done it often enough that it is now a habit. It looks like walking my dogs for 50 minutes every day and gradually adding more time for weight training three times a week until I have worked up to taking a fitness class, or using a workout.
Small, incremental changes add up – without the overwhelm.
Progress over Perfection: Tweak Your Goals without the Guilt
Do you have an accountability partner or group? Whether its a co-working session, an online community, or a trusted friend, regular check-ins can help keep you on track. Share and celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and make adjustments as needed.
Sometimes, life throws you curveballs that clash with your Wants and Flexibles. Family dynamics shift, or business priorities change. Don’t be afraid, it’s okay! Adapting is key. Always give yourself grace, not guilt, and celebrate progress over perfection.
In case you aren’t certain about how to celebrate, one way I encourage it is through a simple shoulder shimmy. It might sound silly, but it’s a joyful, unexpected way to mark small wins. Try it after sharing progress with your accountability group or partner. You’ll be surprised how much joy it brings.
Finding the Joy
Goals for yourself, business, or family should never feel like a burden. As they say, the journey matters just as much as the destination
Today, for example, is the first snow day of the year for my kids. Although I had to work, I scheduled movement breaks throughout my day to avoid being glued to a screen. When my alarm for a break went off, I noticed my kids sledding outside. I checked my schedule, saw I had an extra 10 minutes, and joined them. For 25 minutes, we played in the snow. It wasn’t long, and it wasn’t planned, but it was a moment filled with laughter and connection – and that matters to me.
Later, when clearing snow becomes a chore, I might choose to turn it into another joyful moment. Perhaps we’ll have a snow dance party as we clear the driveway.
Final Thoughts
I dream big and with purpose for my business and my family. I’ve stopped living by others’ expectations and started choosing small, intentional changes what matters to me and taking small, doable steps towards that instead. Most importantly, however, is that I’m finding joy in the journey.
If you’re looking for accountability buddies, consider joining one of my co-working sessions or connecting with the Mariposa Moms community on Facebook. Remember, we’re all dancing through life. It’s okay to change your steps or your music – just don’t forget to enjoy the magic of the moment you’re in.
